Disaster Diaries_Cursed! Read online

  “Anyway,” Sam continued, “the point is, Armitage Caruthers wasn’t afraid of anything. Not. One. Thing. Just like me. And he was always having adventures. When he eventually landed here, he took his trusty duck companion, Albertus, down from his shoulder”—he couldn’t afford a parrot—“and sat him on the ground. And thus, Sitting Duck was born!”

  * * *

  Armitage Caruthers Character Profile

  1.  Born in England in Ye Olde Days (a specific historical time period of about 400 years ago).

  2.  Developed a reputation for adventuring when he single-handedly beat the Loch Ness monster in arm wrestling.

  3.  Showed a flair for piracy early on when he made his brother Barnabus walk the plank for stealing his favorite pair of socks.

  4.  Earned a reputation for disaster in 1666 when he accidentally left his oven on and started a small fire that burned down half of London.

  5.  Left England and traveled the eight seas. (Soon there would only be seven, as Caruthers accidentally pulled the plug on one of them.)

  6.  Was cursed and imprisoned by the Mermaid Queen for impersonating a monkfish, but escaped and set off for the mystical New World.

  7.  Founded Sitting Duck but never did shake the Mermaid Queen’s curse. (I told you they were evil.)

  8.  Died a hero, defending the town against its first catastrophic event—the Great Octopus Invasion of 1675.

  9.  Lives on forever in the hearts and minds of Sitting Duckers.

  * * *

  Create a Disaster Survival Kit

  What would you put in your own Disaster Survival Kit?

  Maybe, like Arty, a Bristly Brain Basher (aka toilet brush) is all you need to keep enemies at bay?

  Can you invent a more sophisticated form of weaponry using a toilet roll or an empty cookie tin?

  Or do you really just want some sweets and a clean T-shirt?

  Pack your bag for the apocalypse and keep it by the door in case of disaster!

  Disaster Diaries

  Zombies!

  Aliens!

  Brainwashed!

  Robots!

  Spiders!

  Cursed!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  R. McGeddon is absolutely sure the world is almost certainly going to end very soon. A strange, reclusive fellow—so reclusive, in fact, that no one has ever seen him, not even his mom—he plots his stories using letters cut from old newspapers and types them up on an encrypted typewriter. It’s also believed that he goes by other names, including A. Pocalypse and N. Dov Days, but since no one has ever met him in real life, it’s hard to say for sure. One thing we know is when the apocalypse comes, he’ll be ready!. You can sign up for email updates here.

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  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Read them all!

  Excerpt from Disaster Diaries: Spiders!

  Create a Disaster Survival Kit

  Disaster Diaries

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Text copyright © 2018 by Hothouse Fiction Ltd. Illustrations copyright © 2018 by J&D Creative (based on an original artwork concept by Jamie Littler).

  A part of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC

  175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010

  mackids.com

  All rights reserved.

  Read until the final pages,

  Or you’ll be cursed throughout the ages,

  With no one but yourself to thank,

  When it’s time to walk the plank!

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

  Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at [email protected].

  Imprint logo designed by Amanda Spielman

  First hardcover edition 2018

  eBook edition February 2018

  eISBN 9781250135667